A Look Back on Labeling

Let's not go putting labels on things...

I find that one of the most rewarding parts of making my wines, as superficial as it is, is seeing the final product stacked up on my wine rack. The foils on the necks mark each one for what they are, and the labels on them, perfectly placed, are pieces of my own creation. It all comes together to look like a very polished, professional end product of months of working and waiting.

88 bottles and counting

A labelled batch of barolo with kit-supplied labels

All-in-all, the most fun I have here is designing the labels for my wines. Let's go through a few of my delightful little creations!

Bambina Fiona Barolo 

One of my first batches of wine was a kit barolo wine (they're all kit wines). This one turned out wonderful (to my amateur tastebuds), and my friend Melinda also thought it tasted really good. Like me, she likes her wines big, bold, and dry, and this one is just that.

The thing about Melinda at the time is that, well, she was pregnant, and she could only enjoy a few sips of it. So, I decided that, as kind of a "Congratulations!" and more of a "You're not pregnant anymore -- drink up!" present, I decided to dedicate a case of the barolo to her baby, Fiona Marie.

And thus, much like Fiona herself, my first custom-designed label came forth into the world.

A little on the traditional side, but it looks good on the bottle.

Not until you're older, little one!

Chi-Squared Chianti

Among many things, I am a scientist. So, when it came to bottle my chianti(-style) wine, I decided to go a bit of the nerd route. Chianti begins with 'chi', otherwise known as the greek letter χ.

Now, in statistics and theoretical models, we use a metric called a chi-squared test to determine how well a set of experimental data agrees with a theoretical model. It's one of many significance tests, which are tests for determining the probability that a given result could not have occurred by chance.

So, I decided to make a label inspired by this, adorned by the various chi-squared distributions themselves. All in all, I'd say it turned out beautifully.

To this day, this is the best wine that I've made, hands down. Best label, too.

Barolo El Cuñado

Thrilled by the success of my previous barolo, I quickly purchased another kit and pumped out another batch. I'm not terribly proud of this batch. It turned out a bit sweeter, with lower alcohol content, along with a bit of a musty kind of nose to it. It's definitely fine and drinkable, but it's no the shining star of my night sky, metaphorically speaking.

So, as I was mulling over some names for this one, there was one idea that stuck. A TV series that quickly became a personal favorite (and, frankly, changed my life a little) is FX's The League. It's a show about some friends that participate rather enthusiastically in a fantasy football league, and it's a great watch, if you've got the time.

One of the personalities in the show is a brother-in-law of one of the main characters. He's an absolutely foul human being, with no tact, dignity, or sense for social graces. His name is Rafi, but he's not-so-lovingly referred to as "Brolo El Cuñado". Sure, "El Cuñado" only means "the brother" or "the brother-in-law" in Spanish, but it sounds so much more foul and sinister than its meaning. And so, my rather punny wine name was decided.

 

 It's not very good. I find that to be fitting.

Big Fat Dog

I own a very large dog. There; that's the gist of it. About four years ago, my girlfriend, Carly, and I got puppy fever from watching Dogs 101, and we took the plunge and got our big fluffy newfoundland. We named him Charlemagne. Or, Charlie for short.

And now he's my best friend

When we were visiting with one of my friends and her kid, Joey, Charlie made quite the impression. Later, when we met up again, his mom asked him if he remembered me and my dog. He simply responded: "Yeah. Big FAT dog." Trust me, the comedy and catchiness is all in the emphatic delivery. 

What a kid. So, here's to you, Joey. Thanks for the inspiration.

I'd like to note that Charlie isn't overweight, thankyouverymuch.

 

Wines yet to come...

There's still some wines I have yet to name, and naming something is not a thing a take lightly. I want the names to be something that is a little fun, a little artsy, a little personal, and maybe a little professional-sounding. Here are the wines I have yet to name.

• Merlot (just bottled)
• Ruby Port-style Cabernet-Merlot (about to bottle)
• Syrah (my first fresh grape wine!)
• Old Vine Zinfindel (also fresh grape)

So, I'll be keeping my ears and eyes open for the perfect names for my babies. 

That's all for today.  Coming up next will be my posts about my foray into the heart of becoming an urban vintner -- making wine from fresh grapes.